Debt-Free Series Part 1
If you’re weighed down by debt and want to be free, I invite you to join me on my journey to be financially clean & clear. Here is my Debt-Free Series Part 1.
As a Guts, Money & Sex Coach, I still learn in all three of these areas. (I’ll be learning until I’m put into the ground. Maybe even then! 😜 )
Right now, I’m focusing on my debt, and so I’m writing a Debt-Free Series.
My remaining post-divorce debt weighs on me, and I’m ready to tackle it with renewed intention.
I already know how light and joyful financial freedom can feel.
My former husband and I worked hard in our 20’s, making smart moves, and owned a home debt-free by the time I was 30.
But over the next 10 years, through a series of circumstances, mindset shifts, and choices, we went backward instead of forwards and found ourselves struggling in a new state with two new businesses and a strained marriage.
By the time we laid down our marriage, we were in quite a bit of debt, and each of us took a portion of that with us.
Currently, I am following Denise Duffield’s Debt-Free Blueprint, and I’m going to share my process as I go through it.
Debt-Free Step 1: Forgiveness
There are several very practical steps to implement that will reduce and eliminate your debt.
However, before getting into the practical things, the first essential part is to inventory every person, institution & situation that is related to you getting into debt – including yourself.
After the inventory list comes the cathartic process of forgiving them and you.
If you need someone to start with, start with your mom & dad, maybe even your grandparents. Money stuff goes back generations.
They were probably doing the very best that they could, but perhaps their circumstances and choices led to a less-than-optimal start in your adult life.
The emotional weight and baggage of “debt-guilt” and resentment need to be cleared so that you can get on with the brave task of facing the practical steps instead of feeling helpless, angry, or paralyzed.
Forgive yourself for each spending decision, for each “bad” choice, for each life circumstance you found yourself in.
Here is how you forgive your debt:
- Make a list of every person, institution & circumstance linked to your debt—parents, ex-spouse, partner, college, credit-card company, mortgage lender, kids—anyone.
- For each person, institution & circumstance, connect & say these affirmations:
- I forgive you (i.e., for not keeping track of how your unhappiness was affecting our bottom line)
- I’m sorry (i.e., that those were the circumstances)
- I love you
- Let any tears or emotions come up. Don’t dwell; release them.
- When you’re done with Steps 1-3, drink some water and rest.
I did this practice, and I indeed cried as I named every person and circumstance involved as well as my own “Melanie” part in my debt load.
The circle of influences was pretty broad because I didn’t want to miss out on any hidden factor that needed forgiving and releasing.
Why does forgiveness work?
As it has worked in other aspects of growing my finances, forgiveness allows scarcity patterns, memories, and blocks to be recognized and released. Judgment is replaced with acceptance and peace.
The energy of grudges, resentment, anger, shame, and victimhood gets replaced with compassion, love, creativity, and readiness for inspired action.
Watch what comes up next.
Things are going to shift. You’ll immediately feel lighter and happier even though your circumstances haven’t changed (yet!).
Have questions or want to share your debt story? Leave a comment below!