What is Conscious Monogamy?
Today I want to talk about Conscious Monogamy – what it is and what it has to offer for any couple who has the courage to do Monogamy differently.
When I talk about Conscious Monogamy, it might be helpful first to say what it is NOT.
Conscious Monogamy is not Standard Monogamy, which just means you’re with one partner at a time.
Standard Monogamy offers the external cultural rewards & accolades for being married to one partner, producing offspring, and not cheating in the meantime.
Conscious Monogamy offers you the internal rewards of depth, bliss, trust, growth, peace, power, pleasure, connection, life-giving creativity & partnership with your person.
I don’t know about you, but I’ll take my own experience versus others’ opinions any day.
Conscious Monogamy goes far beyond being with one person. Instead, it summons radical commitment of the whole body & soul, both emotionally & physically.
Conscious Monogamy means you’re in a relationship TO GROW.
You believe you are with your partner for a reason, and that reason is to bring delight and growth to both of you.
You don’t have room for affairs, polyamory, distractions, or outside exploration because you’re too busy staying ultra-connected, having fantastic gourmet sex, creating from your purpose, and being in sync with your partner. 🙂
The impulse to bring “something/someone else in,” whether an affair or distractions like alcohol, TV, drugs, etc., can be a deflection of exploring your blocks to vulnerability and intimacy. Conscious Monogamy challenges our shadows, familial histories, patterns, and “stuff” and isn’t accessible for those not interested in growing.
Conscious Monogamy is profound, powerful, alchemizing, transformative.
What does Conscious Monogamy look like?
- You are doing your own clean-up work. We all come with patterns, blocks, shadows, wounds, trauma. Go digging – all the way back to babyhood if needed. Find out what triggers you are repeating, what familial patterns you’re bringing into your relationship that is yours to examine & release. It’s also finding your barriers to fully receiving love.
- You are finding your own sources of happiness. It’s too much for any person to be responsible for another’s happiness. If things are going sideways, you can always look for how you are not meeting your own needs first before relying on your partner. For example, while I’m writing this post, I’m blasting Sia in my earbuds, dancing in place at my laptop, which makes me extremely happy 😁
- You are offering & graciously receiving daily “cleaning of the glass” time with your partner. Daily cleaning means not allowing a build-up of emotional “grime” to be between you and your partner — and sharing the things that troubled/bothered you, owning your stuff/projections, and being able to bring it all up with radical honesty, acceptance & curiosity.
- You are being radically honest with your Love. You’re not telling your partner little white lies or leaving uncomfortable things unsaid. You have the kind of partnership that can handle being honest even with something like feeling attracted to someone else, telling your partner, and no one blowing up. Instead, you both view the attraction as a regular part of being human, and the “charge” goes out of the attraction immediately.
- Asking directly for your needs and wants. You are not being passive or indirect in your communication. Again, take the time to sort out what you need and want first on your own.
- You are having gourmet sex instead of junk-food sex. Junk-food sex is the once-a-week (or less) quick orgasm, rolling over and falling asleep. Gourmet sex is keeping a continual daily simmer between you of sexual connection and activity. Gourmet sex is a weekly 3-hour sex date as a priority. Gourmet sex uses the full spectrum of sexual acts available to a couple to explore because each of them provides a different doorway to bliss & growth. You are harvesting your sexual energy for life-giving creativity & purpose in all other areas of your life. (Much more to talk about here!)
- You are intentional. Intentional with your time, your work-life, kids, and sexual connection.
What are the benefits of Conscious Monogamy?
- You’ll have better sex. Honesty is a massive aphrodisiac. 😉
- You’ll have one person you can be your most vulnerable, raw, and naked with, in all ways possible.
- Your projects, work, and creativity will flow more freely and ease-fully.
- And again, depth, bliss, trust, growth, peace, power, pleasure, connection, life-giving creativity & partnership with your person.
Want your own Conscious Monogamy & Sexuality? I can help you with that.