Surrender for more Peace, Power & Pleasure
The word Surrender can be a dirty or triggering word for many, especially women, and ESPECIALLY women who have been burned by their church or dominating groups that told them they needed to Surrender (or even worse, Submit). I’m here to reclaim for women, this word Surrender, for more Peace, Power & Pleasure. It is a truly beautiful, paradoxical concept when applied by a woman’s conscious self-agency.
A GMS client of mine recently asked me, “I need help with Surrender. I don’t understand it. Silly question, but how is it different from giving up?
OK. I have googled that, and there are even youtube videos on the subject. I am not the only one confused. Not a silly question anymore :).”
I answered her briefly with the intent of following up with this blog post:
“In response to your question on Surrender…
I will attempt to give a brief answer, but I’m going to follow up with a blog post.
What it is NOT:
- Giving up
- Letting someone else control you
- Losing your self-agency & personal power
What I could begin to describe it as:
- Releasing control
- Letting the Universe have its way with you
- Softening into the lessons of love
- Letting go of ego
- Consciously relinquishing subtle micro-management — during lovemaking, in the household, & more — for purpose and love
- Allowing your Man to “take care of things” without judgment
And so, I begin a beautiful inquiry into what I have learned about the nature of Surrender.
Surrender carries tremendous value to a woman — for her home life, her work & purpose, and her relationship to her Man.
A woman who consciously chooses Surrender in life reaps benefits like ecstasy, joy, spiritual expansion, money flow, and deep love.
Kim Anami states that Surrender is a “revolutionary tool both sexually and spiritually.”
I have found this to be true in my own spiritual & conscious sexuality journey.
What does it mean to Surrender?
With a little etymological magic, the meaning I pull from Surrender is to Give & Restore Beyond What is Ordinary.
What the heck does that mean, Melanie?
It is my belief that we become fractured or broken in life by many happenings & events, and that growth is about finding our way back to wholeness.
In one of the many paradoxes of life, when I give up control, rest into Surrender to the Universe (or by a deliberate, conscious choice to my Man), I gain more mastery, soul command, & abundance in my life.
I get to “Restore” my soul to more of its whole, “beyond ordinary” state!
How do I Surrender in my daily life?
- I Surrender to time with Spirit/God almost every morning. By devoting time every morning to this tuning in, I can better know what I need to tend to, what I might be missing, and how I can co-create my day with Spirit.
- If an obstacle comes up in my day, I don’t fight or force it. I either 1. Get curious & inquire what it’s about (i.e., Is there something for me to learn?) 2. Consider something different or better as an alternative.
- I Surrender to what my Body wants (leaving my Mind out of the equation) and follow her leadings. Does she need to run? Dance? Feel fresh air and sunshine on her? Dunk naked in the waters of the stream?
- I Surrender my need to micro-manage other people in my life. I celebrate their independence as much as I celebrate mine, and we are all much happier. Self-agency is a beautiful thing. Not being examined, judged, & directed by your Woman is a beautiful thing.
- I Surrender to “what’s needed” in my sexual connection to myself & my sweetheart. This type of Surrender was tough for me, and I exerted a LOT of covert control. I would enter the sexual space, and suddenly — judgments, expectations & scenarios would push their agendas, ruin the flow of exploration & bliss, & cheat us from the magic that wanted to happen.
- I began to run this little mantra through my mind, “You are not in control, you silly, beautiful woman,” on repeat, over & over. This mantra grounded me in the act of Surrender. It also preceded my first ever G-spot orgasm, so — there is that. 😉
Surrender opens up my life to SO much more peace, power & pleasure.
There is much more to say on the topic of Surrender, but this is my introduction to the subject and long-form answer to my sweet GMS client (thank you, Karolina, for the great question!)
What does Surrender mean to you?
What have you struggled with around this topic?
I’d love to hear from you. Please write me at melanie at honest body dot com.